Friday, 18 June 2010
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Chinese Parents Show Their Love Through Food
In the last month, I’ve been living at home with my parents in Vancouver. I usually live away from home for schooling, but it has come to my attention in the last month that I have gained five pounds. I can’t blame it all on my parents, but I think they are a large reason for it! Do you know how Chinese parents say “I love you”? They feed you. Food. Lots of it!My dad actually has a lot of difficulty expressing his feelings and thoughts. Never once have I heard him say “I love you” to me. Even if I ask him directly to repeat those three words, he just kind of grunts and looks embarrassed! But in the last month, I have really seen his “love” for me. It’s actually quite cute how excited he looks when he shows me what fruits and vegetables he has brought home. He constantly asks me if he can peel/cut/wash an orange, mango, or other fruit for me. Clearly I’m capable of preparing my own fruit to eat. It’s my favorite food group! But my very traditional Chinese dad just loves to do it for me because this is just how he non-verbally shows that he cares.
Sometimes my dad doesn't even ask me. Both of my parents walk up to my room several times per day, bearing food in their hands. What’s bad is that I have associated their footsteps with food! As soon as I hear their foosteps, my thoughts go straight to food and my mouth even salivates, wondering what my parents have brought this time. And then there is a slight disappointment if there is no food!
This reminds me of Pavlov’s dogs. This is a psychological study where Pavlov would ring a bell before feeding his dog. After several times doing this, the dog would salivate just at the sound of the bell, even if there was no food present.
Today, we have most definitely conditioned our brains to associate food with non-food objects. Mindless eating commonly occurs in front of the television. Movie theatres sell overpriced popcorn and candy, yet people still buy it (or smuggle outside food in).
What to do? I need to get my parents to stop bringing food up to my room. Perhaps I’ll have to make a no-food in my room policy! If we can condition our brains one way, we can definitely condition it back the other way. The healthier way. I wrote an article on emotional/mindless eating here.
Habits are difficult to change, but small steps make a big difference! The first step is awareness. Then blame your parents. (Just kidding! My weight gain also has a lot to do with no gym and lots of rain here in Vancouver too.) We are responsible for our own actions. Never blame your parents or genetics for your unhealthy habits because change is our own responsibility!
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Comments (9)
I wish my parents had shown me that kind of love.
Awwwwwwwwwwww!!! It's the same here, my mom will randomly give me food while I'm studying or something. I love it. =]
My grandma must super duper love me.
Food is a big thing in alot of cultures from what I read. Like in some you take the food offered home, even if you wont eat it. It's a sign of the host taking care of the guests & it's rude to refuse. A good way to politely decline maybe is to thank them & tell them you'll eat it later?
I admit sometimes I buy food to celebrate things, even if I'm not hungry at the moment but I do try to exercise it off later or atleast move to work it off.
I'm glad I've lived with my parents long enough and learned to reject their "love,"hehe.
There are plenty of exercises that can be done away from the gym. Maybe try those out? And weather's getting better now. Maybe go for walks (or bike) around seawall or observe people's shopping habits in Vancouver's local communities =)
Chinese parents are like that; conservative and traditional, because that's how they were bought up when they grow up.
This post rings so true!! My mom still calls me to tell me she has food for me!
@alee - I went running one time and then 7 mins in, it started raining on me lol. That's Vancouver... but yea thanks for the tips! I'm back in Ontario now for graduation and doing some traveling. Hoping to get back to Van and check out the UBC farm to learn more about local foods & sustainable agriculture there!
Not sure if there's one near you, but Running Room has running clinics on certain days each week. Committing yourself to an activity (be it with the clinic or with friends) overcomes some of the obstacles we bump into. Sometimes it felt pretty dreadful running in the rain in preparation for the Sun Run last month (as some cars would drive over puddles and splash water onto you, grrrr), but after each session I felt great and totally enjoyed spending time with the other participants leading to the week of the big day. But enough with me and the preaching, hehe; getting people to alter dietary habits is a harder feat.
Do check out UBC farm and other farmers' markets when you get the chance. It's not just about the food. The atmosphere with the friendly merchants shouldn't be missed
I'm also looking forward to fruit-picking with the local fruit tree project. So many fun and worthwhile things to do in the summer!
Congrats on graduation and have fun traveling!